While perusing the Internet I came across a blog from the homemaking queen, Martha Stewart, that laid out the etiquette of invitations in an easy to understand fashion. So, I thought I would repurpose her thoughts for you with a little twist!
Now-a-days brides are constantly pushing the envelope and getting super creative with their invitation wording; however, there are still some fail-safe etiquette techniques that are sure to create an elegant, yet classic invitation. When it comes to proper invitation etiquette there's usually more than one option, although your choice of language as well as typeface, layout, and color palette provide subtle clues about what your wedding will be like -- and who you are as a couple.
This last tid-bit is important to remember. When you think about your wedding as a whole, how do you see your day? Classic and elegant? Or Quirky and fun? It is important to remember that your theme runs deeper than just a color palette. All of the small details and fun elements elevate your big day to the next level.
That being said, let's talk about the anatomy of the invitation. Each and every invitation should have the following elements in some form or fashion: host lines, request lines, bride and groom lines, date and time lines, location lines, reception lines and RSVP lines. Below I have outlined each one in further detail.
{ HOST LINES }
Historically, the bride's parents had top billing, and they still should for formal affairs, but naming both sets of parents as hosts is a gracious option no matter who foots the bill. Some couples issue their own invitations, or do so together with their parents. Some examples follow:
Bride's Parents Hosting
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Bradshaw
Divorced Parents Hosting, Mother has Remarried
Mr. and Mrs. John Carruthers
Mr. Richard Bradshaw ... at the marriage of their daughter Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw
(Please note that mother's name appears first; father's name appears first only if mother will not be contributing to the costs of the wedding)
Divorced Parents Hosting, Father Has Remarried But Mother Has Not
Mrs. Catherine Bradshaw
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Bradshaw ... at the marriage of their daughter Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw
Divorced Parents Hosting, Both Parents Have Remarried
Mr. and Mrs. John Carruthers
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Bradshaw
Bride's Divorced Mother is Hosting
Mrs. Catherine Bradshaw
Bride's Divorced Parents, Not Remarried, Hosting
Mrs. Catherine Bradshaw
Mr. Richard Bradshaw request the honour...
Bride's Mother and Stepfather Hosting (Father Has No Part In Bride's Life)
Mr. and Mrs. John Carruthers request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw
Bride's Mother and Stepfather Hosting
Mr. and Mrs. John Carruthers request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of her daughter [or, Mrs. Carruthers's daughter] Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw
Both Bride's and Groom's Parents Hosting
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Bradshaw and Mr. and Mrs. Roderick Clarke (follow similar naming conventions as above if the groom's parents have divorced and/or remarried)
Bride's Parents Hosting, Honoring Groom's Parents
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Bradshaw request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw to Angus Piers Clarke, son of Mr. and Mrs. Roderick Clarke (follow similar naming conventions as above if the groom's parents have divorced and/or remarried; see below for naming convention if one of his parents is deceased)
Bride and Groom Hosting
Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw and Angus Piers Clarke or, more formally Miss Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw and Mr. Angus Piers Clarke
Bride's Living Parent is Hosting
Mr. [Mrs.] Richard Bradshaw
Honoring Deceased Parents -- Bride
The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw, daughter of Richard Bradshaw and the late Catherine Bradshaw, to Angus Piers Clarke. Or: The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw, daughter of Richard and the late Catherine Bradshaw. Or: The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw, daughter of Catherine Bradshaw and her late husband, Richard. Or: The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw, daughter of the late Mr. Richard Bradshaw and his wife, Catherine.
If Both Parents are Deceased
The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw, daughter of the late Mr. and Mrs. Richard Bradshaw. Or: The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw, daughter of the late Richard and Catherine Bradshaw.
All Parties Hosting
Together with their parents, Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw and Angus Piers Clarke
Father is A Doctor
Doctor and Mrs. Richard Bradshaw
Mother is a Doctor
Doctor Catherine Bradshaw and Mr. Richard Bradshaw
Both Parents Are Doctors
The Doctors Bradshaw, or Doctor Richard Bradshaw and Doctor Catherine Bradshaw (doctor may be abbreviated for space).
Groom's Parents are Hosting
Mr. and Mrs. Roderick Clarke request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Miss Elizabeth Anne Bradshaw to their son Angus Piers Clarke.
Bride's Parents are Hosting (Mother Uses Maiden Name)
Mr. Richard Bradshaw and Ms. Catherine Keys (note that their names are on a single line)
{ REQUEST LINES }
The pleasure of your company:
Indicates the ceremony is taking place outside a place of worship;
Honour of your presence:
Honour spelled British-style with a U indicates a ceremony in a house of worship.
When both sets of the couple's parents are hosting, this line would specify "at the marriage of their children."
{ BRIDE AND GROOM LINES }
The name of the bride always precedes the groom's name. Formal invitations issued by the bride's parents refer to her by her first and middle names, the groom by his full name and title; if the couple is hosting by themselves, their titles are optional.
{ DATE AND TIME LINES }
For formal events, everything is written out in full (no numerals). The year is optional (the assumption being your wedding is on the nearest such date). Time of day is spelled out using "o'clock" or "half after ___ o'clock." The use of a.m. or p.m. is optional. For casual weddings, numerals are fine.
{ LOCATION LINES }
The street address is not usually needed unless omitting it would lead to confusion or your wedding is taking place at the host's home. The city and state are written out in full.
{ RECEPTION LINES }
Very formal invitations include this information on a separate card. Otherwise, it can be printed on the invitation if there is room; if the ceremony and reception will take place at the same location, you may print "and afterward at the reception" or "reception immediately following." When the reception is elsewhere, the location goes on a different line. Include the time if not immediately following the ceremony.
{ RSVP LINES }
Many couples choose to include a separate response card for guests to fill out and return in the mail. Traditionally, the request appears in the lower left-hand corner of the invitation with an address, implying guests should send a reply on their personal stationery. Some are also asking guests to RSVP on their wedding website, by providing the URL on the RSVP card.
{ OTHER ITEMS TO INCLUDE }
If there are other items that you would like to include such as mailing address for gifts or cards, charity donation information or hotel accommodations, they can be included on an information card.
I hope this helps answer all of your etiquette questions. To read the full article from Martha Stewart visit her blog. And just remember, stay true to yourself, your theme and don't be afraid to have a little fun! These are mainly just guidelines anyway! haha
Finally, stay tuned for a future blog post on invitation inserts, where I will detail how and when to use insert cards.
Do you have a preference for how invitations are worded? How are you or how did you word your invitations? Are you liking the less formal trend? If so, why?